Got a toothbrush?
if you like me you must not know who I am
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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