weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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