the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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