She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
