I love black thongs
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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