It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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