I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize