my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize