If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
