do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
