so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
