It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize