I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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