just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We're too hungover to prance.
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