You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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