I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i came on her dog
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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