the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
