dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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