Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize