wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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