the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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