from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
