I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
