guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Found your dick twin last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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