Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
