I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
