I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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