She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
