do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
