just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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