East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
