i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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