people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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