Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
