I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
