I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
