I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
