Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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