watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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