I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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