i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
