I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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