I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
