You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
