im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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