Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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