Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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