i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
