Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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