Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
