sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
