Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
should my penis look like a turkey
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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