Got a toothbrush?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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