Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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