I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
