He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
