where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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