it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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