I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize