Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
