can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
