Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Boobs are out for the taking
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
