Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
