I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
