Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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