I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
