im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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