He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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