my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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