I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
