I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
