Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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