Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
