mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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