As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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