omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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