Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
