we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
