too bad you live with your parents still
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
