I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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