She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
