Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
