sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
