You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
