Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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