i will never coherently bang her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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