Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
