That's intense
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
